The Prophet delivered a sermon the like of which I had never heard before. He said, "If you but knew what I know then you would have laughed little and wept much." On hearing that, the companions of the Prophet covered their faces and the sound of their weeping was heard. A man said, "Who is my father?" The Prophet said, "So-and-so." So this Verse was revealed: "Ask not about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble." (5.101)

Umayyah was sitting and a man was eating. He did not mention Allah's name until there remained the last morsel. When he raised it to his mouth, he said: In the name of Allah at the beginning and at the end of it. The Prophet (saws) laughed and said: The devil kept eating along with him, but when he mentioned Allah's name, he vomited what was in his belly.

Abu Dawud: Jabir bin Subh is grandfather of Sulaiman bin Harb from his mother's side.

During the lifetime of the Prophet there was a man called `Abdullah whose nickname was Donkey, and he used to make Allah's Apostle laugh. The Prophet lashed him because of drinking (alcohol). And one-day he was brought to the Prophet on the same charge and was lashed. On that, a man among the people said, "O Allah, curse him ! How frequently he has been brought (to the Prophet on such a charge)!" The Prophet said, "Do not curse him, for by Allah, I know for he loves Allah and His Apostle."

AbdurRahman ibn AbuLayla, quoting Usayd ibn Hudayr, a man of the Ansar, said that while he was given to jesting and was talking to the people and making them laugh, the Prophet (saws) poked him under the ribs with a stick. He said: Let me take retaliation. He said: Take retaliation. He said: You are wearing a shirt but I am not. The Prophet (saws) then raised his shirt and the man embraced him and began to kiss his side. Then he said: This is what I wanted, Messenger of Allah!

[Al-Bukhari].

Whenever Allah's Apostle went to Quba, he used to visit Um Haram bint Milhan who would offer him meals; and she was the wife of 'Ubada bin As-samit. One day he went to her house and she offered him a meal, and after that he slept, and then woke up smiling. She (Um Haram) said, "I asked him, 'What makes you laugh, O Allah's Apostle?' He said, 'Some people of my followers were displayed before me as warriors fighting for Allah's Cause and sailing over this sea, kings on thrones,' or said, 'like kings on thrones.' (The narrator, 'Is-haq is in doubt about it.) I (Um Haram) said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Invoke Allah that He may make me one of them.' He invoked (Allah) for her and then lay his head and slept again and then woke up smiling. I asked, 'What makes you laugh, O Allah's Apostle?' He said, 'Some people of my followers were displayed before me as warriors fighting for Allah's Cause and sailing over this sea, kings on the thrones,' or said, 'like kings on the thrones.' I (Um Haram) said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Invoke Allah that He may make me one of them.' He said, You will be amongst the first ones." It is said that Um Haram sailed over the sea at the time of Muawiya, and on coming out of the sea, she fell down from her riding animal and died.

The Prophet (saws) did not prescribe any punishment for drinking wine. Ibn Abbas said: A man who had drunk wine and become intoxicated was found staggering on the road, so he was taken to the Prophet (saws). When he was opposite al-Abbas's house, he escaped, and going in to al-Abbas, he grasped hold of him. When that was mentioned to the Prophet (saws), he laughed and said: Did he do that? and he gave no command regarding him.

Abu Dawud said: This tradition of al-Hasan b. 'Ali has been transmitted only by the people of Medina.

Three persons were brought to Ali (Allah be pleased with him) when he was in the Yemen. They and sexual intercourse with a woman during a single state of purity. He asked two of them: Do you acknowledge this child for this (man)? They replied: No. He then put this (question) to all of them. Whenever he asked two of them, they replied in the negative. He, therefore, cast a lot among them, and attributed the child to the one who received the lot. He imposed two-third of the blood-money (i.e. the price of the mother) on him. This was then mentioned to the Prophet (saws) and he laughed so much that his molar teeth appeared.

AbuZumayl said: I asked Ibn Abbas, saying: What is that I find in my breast? He asked: What is it? I replied: I swear by Allah, I cannot speak about it. He asked me: Is it something doubtful? and he laughed. He then said: No one could escape that, until Allah, the exalted, revealed: "If thou went in doubt as to what we have revealed unto thee, and ask those who have been reading the Book from before thee." He said: If you find something in your heart, say: He is the first and the Last, the Evident and the Immanent, and He has full knowledge of all things.

When the Messenger of Allah (saws) arrived after the expedition to Tabuk or Khaybar (the narrator is doubtful), the draught raised an end of a curtain which was hung in front of her store-room, revealing some dolls which belonged to her.

He asked: What is this? She replied: My dolls. Among them he saw a horse with wings made of rags, and asked: What is this I see among them? She replied: A horse. He asked: What is this that it has on it? She replied: Two wings. He asked: A horse with two wings? She replied: Have you not heard that Solomon had horses with wings? She said: Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (saws) laughed so heartily that I could see his molar teeth.

(the wife of the Prophet), I never saw Allah's Apostle laughing loudly enough to enable me to see his uvula, but he used to smile only. And whenever he saw clouds or winds, signs of deep concern would appear on his face. I said, "O Allah's Apostle! When people see clouds they usually feel happy, hoping that it would rain, while I see that when you see clouds, one could notice signs of dissatisfaction on your face." He said, "O `Aisha! What is the guarantee for me that there will be no punishment in it, since some people were punished with a wind? Verily, some people saw (received) the punishment, but (while seeing the cloud) they said, 'This cloud will give us rain.' "

The Prophet said, "I know the person who will be the last to come out of the (Hell) Fire, and the last to enter Paradise. He will be a man who will come out of the (Hell) Fire crawling, and Allah will say to him, 'Go and enter Paradise.' He will go to it, but he will imagine that it had been filled, and then he will return and say, 'O Lord, I have found it full.' Allah will say, 'Go and enter Paradise, and you will have what equals the world and ten times as much (or, you will have as much as ten times the like of the world).' On that, the man will say, 'Do you mock at me (or laugh at me) though You are the King?" I saw Allah's Apostle (while saying that) smiling that his premolar teeth became visible. It is said that will be the lowest in degree amongst the people of Paradise.

Yahya related to me from Malik from Rabia ibn Abi Abd ar-Rahman that a man came to Qasim ibn Muhammad and said, "I did the tawaf al- ifada along with my wife, and then I went off onto a mountain path and approached my wife to make love to her, and she said, 'I have not cut my hair yet.' So I bit some of her hair off with my teeth and then had intercourse with her." Qasim laughed and said, "Tell her to cut her hair with some scissors."

Malik said, "To my liking an animal should be sacrificed in an instance such as this, because Abdullah ibn Abbas said, 'Whoever forgets any of his rites on hajj should sacrifice an animal.' "

I had a sexual dream on a cold night in the battle of Dhat as-Salasil. I was afraid, if I washed I would die. I, therefore, performed tayammum and led my companions in the dawn prayer. They mentioned that to the Messenger of Allah (saws). He said: Amr, you led your companions is prayer while you were sexually defiled? I informed him of the cause which impeded me from washing. And I said: I heard Allah say: "Do not kill yourself, verily Allah is merciful to you." The Messenger of Allah (saws) laughed and did not say anything.

Abu Dawud said: 'Abd al-Rahman b. Jubair is an Egyptian and a freed slave of Kharijah b. Hudhafah. He is not Jubair b. Nufair

Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Hunayd ibn Abd arRahman ibn Awf from Abu Hurayra that a man broke the fast in Ramadan and the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, ordered him to make kaffara by freeing a slave, or fasting two consecutive months, or feeding sixty poor people, and he said, "I can't do it." Someone brought a large basket of dates to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he said, "Take this and give it away as sadaqa." He said, "Messenger of Allah, there is no-ne more needy than I am." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, laughed until his eye-teeth appeared, and then he said, "Eat them."

(A man broke his fast intentionally) during Ramadan. The Messenger of Allah (saws) commanded him to emancipate a slave, or fast for two months, or feed sixty poor men. He said: I cannot provide. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: Sit down. Thereafter a huge basket of dates ('araq) was brought to the Messenger of Allah (saws). He said: Take this and give it as sadaqah (alms). He said: Messenger of Allah, there is no poorer than I. The Messenger of Allah (saws) thereupon laughed so that his canine teeth became visible and said: Eat it yourself.

Abu Dawud said: Ibn Juraij narrated it from al-Zuhri in the wordings of the narrator Malik that a man broke his fast. This version says: You should either free a slave, or fast for two months, or provide food for sixty poor men.

I was sitting with the Prophet (saws). A man came from the Yemen, and said: Three men from the people of the Yemen came to Ali, quarrelling about a child, asking him to give a decision. They had had sexual intercourse with a woman during a single state of purity.

He said to two of them: Give this child to this man (the third person) with pleasure. But they (refused and) cried loudly. Again he said to two of them: Give the child to the man (the third person) willingly. But they (refused and) cried loudly. He then said: You are quarrelsome partners. I shall cast lots among you; he who receives the lot, will acquire the child, and he shall pay two-thirds of the blood-money to both his companions. He then cast lots among them, and gave the child to the one who received the lot. The Messenger of Allah (saws) laughed so much that his canine or molar teeth appeared.

A man came to Sahl bin Sa`d and said, "This is so-and-so," meaning the Governor of Medina, "He is calling `Ali bad names near the pulpit." Sahl asked, "What is he saying?" He (i.e. the man) replied, "He calls him (i.e. `Ali) Abu Turab." Sahl laughed and said, "By Allah, none but the Prophet called him by this name and no name was dearer to `Ali than this." So I asked Sahl to tell me more, saying, "O Abu `Abbas! How (was this name given to `Ali)?" Sahl said, "`Ali went to Fatima and then came out and slept in the Mosque. The Prophet asked Fatima, "Where is your cousin?" She said, "In the Mosque." The Prophet went to him and found that his (i.e. `Ali's) covering sheet had slipped of his back and dust had soiled his back. The Prophet started wiping the dust off his back and said twice, "Get up! O Abu Turab (i.e. O. man with the dust).

A man came to the Prophet. The Prophet sent a messenger to his wives (to bring something for that man to eat) but they said that they had nothing except water. Then Allah's Apostle said, "Who will take this (person) or entertain him as a guest?" An Ansar man said, "I." So he took him to his wife and said to her, "Entertain generously the guest of Allah's Apostle " She said, "We have got nothing except the meals of my children." He said, "Prepare your meal, light your lamp and let your children sleep if they ask for supper." So she prepared her meal, lighted her lamp and made her children sleep, and then stood up pretending to mend her lamp, but she put it off. Then both of them pretended to be eating, but they really went to bed hungry. In the morning the Ansari went to Allah's Apostle who said, "Tonight Allah laughed or wondered at your action." Then Allah revealed: "But give them (emigrants) preference over themselves even though they were in need of that And whosoever is saved from the covetousness Such are they who will be successful." (59.9)

In the lifetime of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) the sun eclipsed, so he led the people in prayer, and stood up and performed a long Qiyam, then bowed for a long while. He stood up again and performed a long Qiyam but this time the period of standing was shorter than the first. He bowed again for a long time but shorter than the first one, then he prostrated and prolonged the prostration. He did the same in the second rak`a as he did in the first and then finished the prayer; by then the sun (eclipse) had cleared. He delivered the Khutba (sermon) and after praising and glorifying Allah he said, "The sun and the moon are two signs against the signs of Allah; they do not eclipse on the death or life of anyone. So when you see the eclipse, remember Allah and say Takbir, pray and give Sadaqa." The Prophet then said, "O followers of Muhammad! By Allah! There is none who has more ghaira (selfrespect) than Allah as He has forbidden that His slaves, male or female commit adultery (illegal sexual intercourse). O followers of Muhammad! By Allah! If you knew that which I know you would laugh little and weep much.

Yahya related to me from Malik from Hisham ibn Urwa from his father that A'isha, the wife of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "There was an eclipse of the sun in the time of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, led the people in prayer. He stood, and did so for a long time. Then he went into ruku, and made the ruku long. Then he stood again, and did so for a long time, though not as long as the first time. Then he went into ruku, and made the ruku long, though not as long as thefirst time. Then he rose, and went down into sajda. He then did the same in the second raka, and by the time he had finished the sun had appeared. He then gave a khutba to the people, in which he praised Allah and then said, 'The sun and the moon are two of Allah's signs. They do not eclipse for anyone's death nor for anyone's life. When you see an eclipse, call on Allah and say, "Allah is greater" and give sadaqa.' Then he said, 'O community of Muhammad! ByAllah, there is no-one more jealous than Allah of a male or female slave of his who commits adultery. O community of Muhammad! By Allah, if you knew what I knew, you would laugh little and weep much'."

My father set out (for Mecca) in the year of Al-Hudaibiya, and his companions assumed Ihram, but he did not. At that time the Prophet was informed that an enemy wanted to attack him, so the Prophet proceeded onwards. While my father was among his companions, some of them laughed among themselves. (My father said), "I looked up and saw an onager. I attacked, stabbed and caught it. I then sought my companions' help but they refused to help me. (Later) we all ate its meat. We were afraid that we might be left behind (separated) from the Prophet so I went in search of the Prophet and made my horse to run at a galloping speed at times and let it go slow at an ordinary speed at other times till I met a man from the tribe of Bani Ghifar at midnight. I asked him, "Where did you leave the Prophet ?" He replied, "I left him at Ta'hun and he had the intention of having the midday rest at As-Suqya. I followed the trace and joined the Prophet and said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Your people (companions) send you their compliments, and (ask for) Allah's Blessings upon you. They are afraid lest they may be left behind; so please wait for them.' I added, 'O Allah's Apostle! I hunted an onager and some of its meat is with me. The Prophet told the people to eat it though all of them were in the state of Ihram."

While Allah's Apostle was prostrating (as stated below).

Narrated `Abdullah bin Mas`ud:

Once the Prophet was offering prayers at the Ka`ba. Abu Jahl was sitting with some of his companions. One of them said to the others, "Who amongst you will bring the Abdominal contents (intestines, etc.) of a camel of Bani so and so and put it on the back of Muhammad, when he prostrates?" The most unfortunate of them got up and brought it. He waited till the Prophet prostrated and then placed it on his back between his shoulders. I was watching but could not do any thing. I wish I had some people with me to hold out against them. They started laughing and falling on one another. Allah's Apostle was in prostration and he did not lift his head up till Fatima (Prophet's daughter) came and threw that (camel's Abdominal contents) away from his back. He raised his head and said thrice, "O Allah! Punish Quraish." So it was hard for Abu Jahl and his companions when the Prophet invoked Allah against them as they had a conviction that the prayers and invocations were accepted in this city (Mecca). The Prophet said, "O Allah! Punish Abu Jahl, `Utba bin Rabi`a, Shaiba bin Rabi`a, Al-Walid bin `Utba, Umaiya bin Khalaf, and `Uqba bin Al Mu'it [??] (and he mentioned the seventh whose name I cannot recall). By Allah in Whose Hands my life is, I saw the dead bodies of those persons who were counted by Allah's Apostle in the Qalib (one of the wells) of Badr.

`Abdullah bin Mas`ud said, "While Allah's Apostle was praying beside the Ka`ba, there were some Quraish people sitting in a gathering. One of them said, 'Don't you see this (who does deeds just to show off)? Who amongst you can go and bring the dung, blood and the Abdominal contents (intestines, etc.) of the slaughtered camels of the family of so and so and then wait till he prostrates and put that in between his shoulders?' The most unfortunate amongst them (`Uqba bin Abi Mu'ait) went (and brought them) and when Allah's Apostle prostrated, he put them between his shoulders. The Prophet remained in prostration and they laughed so much so that they fell on each other. A passerby went to Fatima, who was a young girl in those days. She came running and the Prophet was still in prostration. She removed them and cursed upon the Quraish on their faces. When Allah's Apostle completed his prayer, he said, 'O Allah! Take revenge on Quraish.' He said so thrice and added, 'O Allah! take revenge on `Amr bin Hisham, `Utba bin Rabi`a, Shaiba bin Rabi`a, Al-Walid bin `Utba, Umaiya bin Khalaf, `Uqba bin Abi Mu'ait and `Umar a bin Al-Walid." `Abdullah added, "By Allah! I saw all of them dead in the battle field on the day of Badr and they were dragged and thrown in the Qalib (a well) at Badr: Allah's Apostle then said, 'Allah's curse has descended upon the people of the Qalib (well).

That his father said "We proceeded with the Prophet in the year of Al-Hudaibiya and his companions assumed Ihram but I did not. We were informed that some enemies were at Ghaiqa and so we went on towards them. My companions saw an onager and some of them started laughing among themselves. I looked and saw it. I chased it with my horse and stabbed and caught it. I wanted some help from my companions but they refused. (I slaughtered it all alone). We all ate from it (i.e. its meat). Then I followed Allah's Apostle lest we should be left behind. At times I urged my horse to run at a galloping speed and at other times at an ordinary slow speed. On the way I met a man from the tribe of Bani Ghifar at midnight. I asked him where he had left Allah's Apostle . The man replied that he had left the Prophet at a place called Ta'hun and he had the intention of having the midday rest at As-Suqya. So, I followed Allah's Apostle till I reached him and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have been sent by my companions who send you their greetings and compliments and ask for Allah's Mercy and Blessings upon you. They were afraid lest the enemy might intervene between you and them; so please wait for them." So he did. Then I said, "O Allah's Apostle! We have hunted an onager and have some of it (i.e. its meat) left over." Allah's Apostle told his companions to eat the meat although all of them were in a state of Ihram."

Mother of the Believers: We, the wives of the Prophet were all sitting with the Prophet and none of us had left when Fatima came walking, and by Allah, her gait was very similar to that of Allah's Apostle .' When he saw her, he welcomed her, saying, "Welcome, O my daughter!" Then he made her sit on his right or his left, confided something to her, whereupon she wept bitterly. When he noticed her sorrow, he confided something else to her for the second time, and she started laughing. Only I from among the Prophet's wives said to her, "(O Fatima), Allah's Apostle selected you from among us for the secret talk and still you weep?" When Allah's Apostle got up (and went away), I asked her, "What did he confide to you?" She said, "I wouldn't disclose the secrets of Allah's Apostle" But when he died I asked her, "I beseech you earnestly by what right I have on you, to tell me (that secret talk which the Prophet had with you)" She said, "As you ask me now, yes, (I will tell you)." She informed me, saying, "When he talked to me secretly the first time, he said that Gabriel used to review the Qur'an with him once every year. He added, 'But this year he reviewed it with me twice, and therefore I think that my time of death has approached. So, be afraid of Allah, and be patient, for I am the best predecessor for you (in the Hereafter).' " Fatima added, "So I wept as you (`Aisha) witnessed. And when the Prophet saw me in this sorrowful state, he confided the second secret to me saying, 'O Fatima! Will you not be pleased that you will be chief of all the believing women (or chief of the women of this nation i.e. my followers?")