We were like the companions of Jadhima (Jadhima was a legendary pre-Islamic king with his centre in al-Anbar. He had two boon- companions, 'Aqil and Malik, who are said to have been together for forty years. The verses are from a lament by Mutammim b. Nuwaira al-Yarbu'i over his brother Malik) for a long time, so that people said the two will never be separated. But when we separated it seemed, in spite of long association, as if Malik and I had not spent a single night together. She then said, “I swear by God that if I had been present with you, you would have been buried nowhere but where you died, and if I had been with you I would not have visited you.” Tirmidhi transmitted it.

Abu Rafi‘ said that God's messenger lowered Sa‘d and sprinkled water over his grave. Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Abu Huraira said that God’s messenger prayed over a bier, then went to the grave and threw three handfuls of earth towards the head of the dead man. Ibn Majah transmitted it.

‘Amr b. Hazm told how, when the Prophet saw him leaning on a grave, he said, “Do not molest the occupant of this grave”; or, “Do not molest it.” Ahmad transmitted it.

We went in with God’s messenger to visit Abu Saif the smith who was foster-father of Ibrahim (The Prophet’s son who died in infancy), and God’s messenger took Ibrahim, kissed him and smelt him. We went in to visit him later when Ibrahim was giving up his soul, and tears began to fall from God’s messenger's eyes, whereupon ‘Abd ar-Rahman b. ‘Auf said to him, “You too, messenger of God?” He replied, “Ibn ‘Auf, it is compassion,” then shed more tears and said, “The eye weeps and the heart grieves, but we say only what our Lord is pleased with, and we are grieved over being separated from you, Ibrahim.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Usama b. Zaid said the Prophet’s daughter sent him a message telling him that a son of hers was dying and asking him to come to them. He sent her a greeting, saying at the same time, “What God has taken belongs to Him, what He has given belongs to Him, and He has an appointed time for everyone, so let her show endurance and seek her reward from God.” She then sent adjuring him to come to her, and he got up to go accompanied by Sa'd b. ‘Ubada, Mu'adh b. Jabal, Ubayy b. Ka'b, Zaid b. Thabit and some other men. The boy who was on the point of death (This is an attempt to express the meaning of the Arabic which says literally ‘his soul was disquieted [or, restless]) was lifted up to God’s messenger whose eyes overflowed with tears. Sa'd said, “What is this, messenger of God?” He replied, “This is compassion which God has placed in the hearts of His servants. God shows compassion only to those of His servants who are compassionate.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar said that when Sa'd b. ‘Ubada complained of a trouble, the Prophet came to visit him accompanied by ‘Abd ar-Rahman b. ‘Auf, Sa'd b. Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdallah b. Mas'ud. On entering and finding him in a bad way (Or, in a faint) he suggested that his end was near, but was assured that that was not so. The Prophet wept, and when the people saw him weeping they wept also. He then said, "Listen; God does not punish for the tears the eye sheds or the grief the heart experiences, but He punishes for this (pointing to his tongue), or He shows compassion; and the dead is punished because of his family’s weeping for him."( Cf. the second tradition in section III where 'A’isha says Ibn ‘Umar has forgotten or made a mistake. This has given rise to much discussion and efforts have been made to show that the tradition of Ibn ‘Umar refers particularly to excessive weeping and wailing, or to the desire of pre-Islamic Arabs that people should lament them to an excessive extent when they died. The reference to the tongue indicates loud lamentation in contrast to silent weeping) (Bukharl and Muslim.)

'Abdallah b. Mas'ud reported God’s messenger as saying, "He who beats the cheeks, tears the front of the garments, and cries out as people did in pre-Islamic times, does not belong to us." (Bukhari and Muslim.)

Abu Burda said that Abu Musa al-Ash'ari fainted and his wife Umm ‘Abdallah began to shout with a piercing cry. He then came round, and asking her if she was quite ignorant, he told her that God’s messenger had said, "I have no connection with one who shaves, shouts and tears his clothing." (Bukharl and Muslim, the wording being Muslim's.)

boasting of high rank, reviling other people’s genealogies, seeking rain by the stars, and wailing." And he said, "If the wailing-woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the day of resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange.” Muslim transmitted it.

Anas told that when the Prophet came upon a woman weeping at a grave he said, "Fear God and show endurance.” She, not recognising him, replied, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted as I have.” She was told that he was the Prophet, so she went to his door, and finding no doorkeepers there she said, "I did not recognise you." He replied, "Endurance is shown only at the first blow.” (Bukharl and Muslim.)

Abu Huraira reported God’s messenger as saying, “No Muslim will suffer the death of three sons and go to hell, except to expiate the oath.”(Cf. Qur'an, xix, 71, which says everyone shall go down to it, and that this is a decree from God which must be accomplished. The meaning of the tradition is said to be that such people will go for a very brief time which will be enough to make this decree no longer applicable to them. The decree is treated as equivalent to an oath) (Bukharl and Muslim.)

He reported God’s messenger as saying to some women of the Ansar, “None of you will lose three children by death and seek a reward from God without entering paradise.” One of them asked, “Or two, messenger of God?” He replied, “Or two.” Muslim transmitted it. Bukharl and Muslim have a version which says, “three who were not old enough to sin.”

He reported God’s messenger as declaring that God says, “When I take away from my believing servant his favourite friend among the people of this world and he seeks his reward from me, he will have no other reward from me but paradise.” Bukhari transmitted it.

Abd Sa'id al-Khudri said that God’s messenger cursed the wailing-woman and the woman who listens to her. Abu Dawud transmitted it.

Sa'd b. Abu Waqqas reported God’s messenger as saying, “It is a fine thing when a believer praises and thanks God if good comes to him, and praises God and shows endurance if smitten by affliction. ' The believer is rewarded for everything, even for the morsel he raises to his wife’s mouth.”(The idea of the tradition is that by virtue of his faith the believer receives a reward for all his actions, none being too insignificant) Baihaqi transmitted it in Shu'ab al-iman.

Anas reported God’s messenger as saying, “Every believer has two gates, one by which deeds ascend and one by which his provision comes down, and when he dies they weep for him.” That agrees with God's words, “Neither the heaven nor the earth wept for them.”(Qur’an xliv, 29) Tirmidhi transmitted it.

Ibn ‘Abbas reported God’s messenger as saying, “If any member of my people has two children who die before him, God will cause him to enter paradise on their account.” ‘A’isha asked, “Does it apply to a member of your people who has one child who dies before him?” He replied, “It does, you who have been helped by God to ask this.” She then asked, “What about a member of your people who has no children who die before him?” He replied, “I am the one who dies before my people, and they will never suffer any loss to compare with the loss of me.” Tirmidhi transmitted it, saying this is a gharib tradition.

When a man's child dies God most high asks His angels whether they have taken His servant's child and they reply that they have. He then asks whether they have taken the fruit of his heart (This is said by some to mean either children or grandchildren, and a basis for that meaning is found in Qur’an, ii, 155, where the plural ath-thamarat is interpreted that way), and when they reply that they have, He asks what His servant said. On their replying that he praised God and said, “We belong to God and to Him do we return,” God says, “Build a house in paradise for my servant and call it the house of praise.” Ahmad and Tirmidhi transmitted it.

‘Abdallah b. Mas'ud reported God's messenger as saying, “If anyone comforts one who has been afflicted he will have a reward equivalent to his.” Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it, Tirmidhi saying this is a gharib tradition which was known to him as traced back to the Prophet only among the traditions of ‘Ali b. ‘Asim the transmitter. He added that some transmitted it with this isnad from Muhammad b. Suqa in mauquf form.

Abu Barza reported God’s messenger as saying, “He who comforts a bereaved woman will be clothed with a striped garment in paradise.” Tirmidhi transmitted it, saying this is a gharib tradition.

‘Abdallah b. Ja'far told that when the news of Ja'far’s death came the Prophet said, “Prepare food for Ja'far’s family, for they have heard something which takes up their whole attention.” Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Al-Mughira b. Shu'ba said he heard God’s messenger say, “If people wail for anyone he will be punished for it on the day of resurrection.” (Bukharl and Muslim.)

‘Amra daughter of ‘Abd ar-Rahman said that when ‘A’isha was told that ‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar said the dead was punished because of the weeping of the living for him, she heard her say, “God forgive Abu ‘Abd ar-Rahman ! He has not lied, but he has forgotten, or has made a mistake. What happened was just that God’s messenger came upon some people weeping for a Jewess and said, ‘They are weeping for her, and she is being punished in her grave.’ ” (Bukharl and Muslim.)

A daughter of ‘Uthman b. ‘Affan died in Mecca and we went to attend her funeral. Ibn ‘Umar and Ibn ‘Abbas were present and I was sitting between them. ‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar told ‘Amr b. ‘Uthman who was opposite him to make the people stop weeping, for God's messenger had said that the dead is punished because of his people’s weeping for him. Ibn ‘Abbas then said that ‘Umar used to say something of that nature, and told of an occasion when he had gone from Mecca with ‘Umar and they saw a party of riders under the shade of a gum-acacia tree when they came to al-Baida,. ‘Umar told him to go and see who these riders were, and when he looked he saw that Suhaib was among them, so he told ‘Umar and he asked him to call him. He therefore returned to Suhaib and told him to come over and attach himself to the Commander of the Faithful. Then when ‘Umar was smitten Suhaib entered weeping and saying, “Alas for the brother! Alas for the companion!” ‘Umar asked Suhaib if he was weeping for him when God’s messenger had said that the dead would certainly be punished because of some of the weeping of his family for him. Ibn ‘Abbas said that when ‘Umar died he mentioned that to ‘A’isha and she said, “God have mercy on ‘Umar! I answer by God that God’s messenger never said the dead will certainly be punished because of his family’s weeping for him; what he said was that God will increase the punishment of the infidel because of his family’s weeping for him.” She added, “What the Qur’an says is enough for you: ‘No bearer of a burden will bear another’s burden.’ ” (Qur’an, vi, 164; xvii, 15; xxxv, 18; xxxix, 7) Thereupon Ibn ‘Abbas said, “God is He who has caused laughter and weeping.” (Cf. Qur’an, liii, 43) Ibn Abu Mulaika said that Ibn ‘Umar remained silent. (Bukharl and Muslim.)

‘A’isha said that when the Prophet was told that Ibn Haritha, Ja'far and Ibn Rawaha (They were Zaid b. Haritha, Ja'far Abu Talib, and 'Abdallah b. Rawaha who were killed at Mu’ta in 7 A.H) had been killed, he sat down showing signs of grief, while she was looking at him through the sa’ir, i.e. the slit, of the door. A man came to him and mentioned that Ja'far’s women were weeping, and on being told to tell them to stop he went away. He came a second time saying they had not obeyed him, and he told him to tell them to stop. When he came a third time and said he could make no impression on them, God’s messenger, so ‘A’isha asserted, said, “Throw dust in their mouths.” Thereupon she said, “God humble you! You did not do what God’s messenger ordered you, nor did you stop annoying God’s messenger.” (Bukharl and Muslim.)

Umm Salama told that when Abu Salama died she said he had been a stranger in a strange land and that she would weep for him in a manner which would be talked of. She had made preparations for weeping and a woman who meant to assist her was on her way when she was met by God’s messenger who said, “Do you intend to bring the devil into a house from which God has twice driven him out?”(Abu Salama had emigrated both to Abyssinia and to Medina and this may be the reference here; or it may be explained as meaning that the devil was driven out first when he accepted Islam and secondly when he died as a Muslim) Umm Salama therefore refrained from weeping and did not weep. Muslim transmitted it.

An-Nu‘man b. Bashir said that when ‘Abdallah b. Rawaha fainted his sister ‘Amra began to weep and shout, “Alas for the mountain! (The word which basically means a mountain is also used for a chief. In the next tradition from Abu Musa two expressions are used, one being the same as here and the other using a normal word for a chief. I have therefore kept the flavour of the original by retaining the word mountain) Alas for such and such! Alas for such and such !” eulogising him. When he came round he said, “I was asked about everything you said whether I am like that.” A version has the addition that when he died she did not weep for him. Bukhari tranmitted it.

Abu Musa said he heard God’s messenger say, “If anyone dies and the mourner gets up and says, ‘Alas for the mountain! Alas for the chief!’ and such like, God will put two angels in charge of him who will beat him on the breast and ask him whether he was like that.” Tirmidhi transmitted it, saying this is a gharib hasan tradition.

Abu Huraira said that a member of the family of God’s messenger died and that the women gathered and wept for him. ‘Umar then arose and forbade and repulsed them, but God’s messenger said, “Let them alone, ‘Umar, for the eye is tearful, the heart is afflicted, and the matter has happened recently.” Ahmad and Nasa’i transmitted it.

Ibn ‘Abbas said that when God’s messenger’s daughter Zainab died and the women wept, ‘Umar began to strike them with his whip, but God's messenger pushed him back saying, “Gently, ‘Umar.” He then said, “Beware of the devil’s clamour,” and added, “Whatever comes from the eye and from the heart is from God who is great and glorious and pertains to compassion, but what comes from the hand and from the tongue is of the devil.” Ahmad transmitted it.

Bukhari said without a full isnad that when al-Hasan b. ‘Ali died, his wife put a tent over his grave for a year; then when she removed it she heard one shouting and saying, “Have they found what they lost?” and another replied, “No, they have given up hope and gone away.”

‘Imran b. Husain and Abu Barza said that when they went out with God’s messenger to a funeral he saw some people who had removed their cloaks and were walking in shirts, and said, “Do you adhere to the practice of pre-Islamic times?” or, “Do you copy what was done in pre-Islamic times ? I feel inclined to invoke a curse on you that you should return metamorphosed.” Then they took their cloaks and did not do that again. Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Ibn ‘Umar said God’s messenger forbade the following of a bier which was accompanied by a woman wailing shrilly. Ahmad and Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Abu Huraira said that a man who told him a son of his had died and that he was grieved asked him if he had heard anything from his friend which would comfort them regarding their dead. He replied that he had, for he had heard him say, “Their young ones roam freely in paradise. One of them meets his father, seizes the end of his garment and does not leave him until he brings him into paradise." Muslim and Ahmad transmitted it, the wording being the latter’s.

Abu Sa'id told a woman coming to God’s messenger and saying, “Messenger of God, the men have a monopoly of what you say, so appoint us a day on which we may come to you to teach us some of what God has taught you.” He told them to gather on such and such a day in such and such a place, and when they did so he came to them and taught them some of what God had taught him. Then he said, “No woman among you will be predeceased by three of her children without that being a curtain from hell for her." One of the women asked whether that applied if there were two, repeating the question twice, and he replied, “Two also, two also, two also." Bukharl transmitted it.

Mu'adh b. Jabal reported God’s messenger as saying, “No pair of Muslims will lose three [of their children] by death without God bringing them into paradise by His great mercy.” He was asked if that applied if they lost two, and said it did. He was also asked if it applied if they lost one, and said it did. Then he said, “By Him in whose hand my soul is, the abortion draws his mother to paradise by his umbilical cord when she seeks her reward for him from God." Ahmad transmitted it, and Ibn Majah transmitted from “By Him in whose hand my soul is."

‘Abdallah b. Mas'ud reported God’s messenger as saying, “If anyone is predeceased by three of his children who did not grow old enough to sin, they will be a strong protection for him from hell.” When Abu Dharr said he had been predeceased by two, he told him that the same applied. Ubayy b. Ka'b Abu Mundhir, the chief of the Qur'an readers, said he had been predeceased by one, and he told him the same applied. Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it, Tirmidhi saying that this is a gharib tradition.

Qurra al-Muzani said that the Prophet asked a man who used to come to him along with a son of his whether he loved his son, and the man replied, “Messenger of God, may God love you as I love him." The Prophet missed him, and on enquiring what had happened to so and so’s son he was told that he had died. Thereupon he said, “Would you not like to find him waiting for you no matter to which gate of paradise you came?” A man asked whether that applied particularly to him, or to all of them, and he told him that it applied to them all. Ahmad transmitted it.

‘Ali reported God’s messenger as saying, “The abortion will dispute with his Lord when He causes his parents to enter hell, and will receive the reply, ‘You abortion who are disputing with your Lord, bring your parents into paradise.’ He will then draw them with his umbilical cord till he brings them into paradise.” Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Abu Umama reported the Prophet as stating that God who is blessed and exalted says, “Son of Adam, if you show endurance and seek your reward from me in the first affliction, I shall be pleased with no lesser reward than paradise for you.” Ibn Majah transmitted it.

Al-Husain b. ‘Ali reported the Prophet as saying, “If any Muslim man or woman suffers a calamity and keeps it in his memory, even if it happened a long time ago, saying each time it is remembered, ‘We belong to God and to Him do we return,’ God who is blessed and exalted will give a fresh reward each time it is said, equivalent to the reward when it happened.” Ahmad and Baihaqi, in Shu'ab al-lman, transmitted it.

Abu Huraira reported God’s messenger as saying, “When the thong of someone’s sandal breaks he should say, ‘We belong to God and to Him do we return,' for it is one of the calamities.”

Umm ad-Darda’ said she heard Abud Darda’ say he heard Abul Qasim (i.e the Prophet) say that God who is blessed and exalted said, “I am sending after your time, Jesus, a people who will praise God when what they like happens to them, and seek their reward from God and show endurance when what they dislike afflicts them, though they do not possess forbearance and intelligence.” He asked, “My Lord, how can this be when they do not possess forbearance or intelligence?” God replied, “I shall give them some of my forbearance and my knowledge.” Baihaqi transmitted the two traditions in Shu'ab al-lman.

Buraida reported God's messenger as saying, “I forbade you to visit graves, but you may now visit them; I forbade you to eat the flesh of sacrificial animals after three days, but you may now keep it as long as you feel inclined; and I forbade you nabidh except in a water-skin, so you may drink it from all kinds of water-skins, but you must not drink anything intoxicating.” Muslim transmitted it.

Abu Huraira said that the Prophet visited his mother’s grave and wept and caused those around him to weep. He then said, "I asked my Lord's permission to pray for forgiveness for her, but I was not allowed; I then asked His permission to visit her grave and I was allowed; so visit graves, for they make one mindful of death.” Muslim transmitted it.

Buraida said that God's messenger used to teach them to say when they went out to the cemeteries, “Peace be upon you, inhabitants of the dwellings who are of the number of the believers and the Muslims. If God will, we shall join you. We ask God to grant us and you wellbeing.” Muslim transmitted it.

Ibn 'Abbas said that when God's messenger passed by some graves in Medina he turned his face towards them and said, “Peace be upon you, inhabitants of the graves. God forgive us and you. You have gone before us and we are coming after.” Tirmidhi transmitted it saying this is a hasan gharib tradition.

‘A'isha said that whenever it was her turn for God's messenger to spend the night with her he would go out towards the end of the night to al-Baqi' and say, “Peace be upon you, household of a people who are believers. What you were being promised will come to you tomorrow, you receiving it after some delay, and if God will we shall join you. O God, grant forgiveness to the inhabitants of Baqi' al- Gharqad.” (This is the full name of the cemetery at Medina. Baqi' properly means a place with tree roots, and gharqad is the name of a thorny type of tree. The name was retained even when all signs of trees were removed.) Muslim transmitted it.

She said she asked God’s messenger what she should say, i.e. when visiting graves, and he told her to say, “Peace be upon the inhabitants of the abodes, believers and Muslims, and God show mercy to those of us who go before and those who go later. If God will we shall join you." Muslim transmitted it.